To Share or Not to Share, That is the Question

As an entrepreneur, I enjoy listening to TED Talks and find them a great way to get motivated and to learn. For those of you who haven’t heard of TED Talks, they are short, powerful talks on almost any topic. Now as I said, I usually enjoy them, but last week I found myself watching, Keeping Your Goals to Yourself, by Derek Sivers   The video was only 10-minutes long and had it been any longer, I would have probably turned it off. This video went against everything that I believe, yet for some odd reason, I continued to watch. As the title suggests, Sivers presented why we should keep our goals to ourselves. He made references to studies that supported his beliefs around sharing your goals with friends, and how that decreases your likelihood of success. He went on to say that friends get excited for us, give us praise, feed our ego, etc. and this gives us the ‘high’ or satisfaction that we are looking for. This acknowledgement by others makes it feel real in our mind so we therefore decrease our chances of success. Initially, I was annoyed with myself that I was even wasting my time watching this TED Talk as it went against everything I believed, but then I heard this whisper in my head telling me that this had happened to me. What me? Could it be?  I reflected on one of my BIG dreams that I had shared. A few months ago, I attended a seminar put on by a publishing company on how to publish a book. I posted an update on Facebook sharing with my Facebook friends that I had decided to follow through with my dream and I was meeting with my publisher in Des Moines about writing my book. This simple little post, received 138 reactions and 33 comments! But the comments didn’t stop there. People called, friends emailed, I was stopped at church, the grocery store and even once on a walk. Everyone was asking me about my big dream. I have to admit, I was overwhelmed by the response, and I soaked it all up. Everyone was excited and many shared words of wisdom and/or topic ideas. I loved it, but when I finally sat down to start the real work I would hear other suggestions in my head and I struggled to maintain my own focus.  I got frustrated and put it away for another day and then another day and to be honest, it has been two months and the first chapter isn’t done…that wasn’t part of my plan. So why am I sharing this? First, I truly believe in sharing your BIG dreams and goals with others, it makes you accountable and the more accountable you are, the more likely you are to have success. BUT here is where I goofed and here is where Derek Siver is right. In his TED Talk, his evidence was based on sharing your goals with FRIIENDS. Now, I love my friends and even most of my Facebook friends, but the truth of the matter is that I shared my big dream with 498 Facebook friends.  Friends can love your idea, BUT they don’t typically think part of their responsibility in the friendship is to hold you accountable to your achieving you big dream! What would I do differently? At first, I wouldn’t share with all my Facebook friends until I had the majority of it done. However, I would still share my big dream with my family and I would share it with my closest friends and ask them ALL to help hold me accountable to my dream. Does that make sense? I’m getting refocused and I’ve created a new plan. Every morning, I am dedicating 30 minutes of my morning to writing my book. I know once I get the process going again, the juices will start flowing and I can increase the time, but for now, I’m committed to this time. Let me ask you, have you ever over shared your big dreams or goals? Is it time for you to get refocused?