I was recently at a women’s event when I overheard a woman share with others that she doesn’t have to time to focus on her marriage right now. She went on to explain that she plans to do that when her kids are in college. Those who know me well, know that statements like this are like fingers on a chalkboard to me. Every ounce of my being, wanted to speak up and share with her that her idea of putting her marriage on hold until the kids were in college, was crazy. I wanted to shout that the time to focus on her marriage is NOW. I wanted to share the consequences of what she was thinking, but fortunately, I had a friend with me who recommended that I keep my mouth shut. So I did, but I didn’t stop thinking about her comment.
Why is it that we justify putting one of our most important relationships on the back burner? What lessons about relationships are we teaching our kids when we have this belief?
I recently read a study from Bowling Green State University. This study found that since 1990, divorce rates have doubled for Americans over 50 and more than doubled for Americans over 65. This new phenomenon has been dubbed, “gray divorce” by the researches. Why do you think this new phenomenon is occurring? Does this statistic scare any of you?
When we fall in love and get married, we expect happily ever after…right? Then, life happens; life gets busy with work, family, extended family, stress, all your responsibilities and we just justify to ourselves and others that this is just a “phase” we are in. Life gets busy, and the person we fell in love with and dreamed of spending our life with, now gets put on the back burner…a low priority in our lives. We justify that we are busy and we justify that they understand. By the way, this isn’t a one-person problem, typically this is occurring with both husband and wife. Maybe one is busier with kids and the other with work. In reality, it doesn’t really matter. The fact remains that distance is growing between the couple. Perhaps we feel the problems and try to address them or maybe we ignore them.
Now fast forward 20-30 years later when the kids are leaving home and the couple realizes that they’ve both changed. They struggle to remember what they had in common before the kids and they begin to question their marriage. Do you think that this could account for the new phenomenon of “gray divorce”?
As with anything in life, if you want success, you must practice and work towards success. Marriage is no different. Yes, we are all busy, but as I often times say, we make time for what we think is important. With the being said, isn’t it time to reconnect with one of your most important relationships?
5 simple ways to reconnect with each other:
- Make each other a priority by scheduling time together each day.
- Share and get curious about each other’s dreams.
- Do fun things together.
- Talk less and listen more.
- Live a life of gratitude.
No matter where you’re at in your marriage, the time is NOW to invest in our marriage. Love Your Life is excited to announce that they will be hosting a Marriage Retreat from a Christian view point on May6-7 at the Hotel Pattee. Visit www.loveyourlif2.com/service
Space is limited to the first 20 couples so you are encouraged to sign up NOW.
Are YOU ready to invest in your marriage?
Recent Comments