Let me ask you, what lessons are you teaching your kids about technology? I know lots of great parents out there that are discussing with their kids the importance of internet safety and monitoring their youth’s social media pages, desperately trying to stay on top of all the new technology and apps that their kids may download, but are we as parents missing out on something just as important?
I watched an interview recently on the Today Show about how teens, especially girls, are so engrossed with their technology when they are supposed to be hanging out with each other. The interview stated that when they were hanging out with a group of friends, their heads are always looking down and not at one another. All their interactions were around what they were doing on their phones. Where is the eye contact? Where are the smiles at one another? Why are the jokes they share almost always something posted on FB? One of the teen girls interviewed stated that when she is uncomfortable or needs to have the “look” she turns to her phone for comfort.
I guess that the first step to change is awareness, but can I say that turning to your cellphone for social comfort is SO lacking in social skills! I must ask what is happening to our world? Cell phones are being given to kids at earlier and earlier ages, because as some parents state, “They really need one because of their schedule.” Really? How did we survive without phones? How did we manage to get home when are parents forgot to pick us up? How did we figure things out without asking Siri? No one is made to use their brain anymore because we can just ask Siri. Kids don’t have to problem solve outside of the school setting anymore, because if it isn’t a Siri question, they can just google help. I am certainly not opposed to technology, and I love my iPhone. My issue is that kids are not having to think outside the box, they are losing creativity and problems solving skills that are vital.
I think most people would agree that this is a concern for our kids, but let me ask you, “Is this also a concern about you and your social interactions?” Kids learn what they see, what do they see you doing? How would your kids describe your phone use? Where would your kids see your eyes at mealtime, sporting events, family time? Where are the jokes you are telling coming from? What do you do for social comfort in uncomfortable social events? Like I said, I love my phone, the ease of checking emails, FB, etc. I’m guilty of you using Siri and I will own that, but to be honest with you, Siri and I have problems. She often times can’t understand me, her answers disappear off my screen for some reason before I have read everything and the other day she scolded me when I asked a question that had the number six in it and she thought I said sex. In fact, she said, “Carrie, that is not very nice.” I don’t remember even what the question was, but I was very surprised that my iPhone 6 scolded me!
In writing this blog, I realized that I have some of my own work to do, to be a better role model. The moral of this blog is if we want different results from our teens, then we need to role modeling behaviors that we want to see. Do you want to build positive relationships with your family and friends? Then put down your technology and TALK. Ask open ended questions, listen to their responses and ask more questions. I know that sometimes our kids, especially teens struggle to communicate, but the more often you practice, the better you will both get. The secret is to show them that you value them more than a quick glimpse on social media or another work email.
Share with me what age do you think is the right age for a phone?
Email me at [email protected] for a list of great questions for your family!
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